Healthy Beginnings

Try Feldenkrais for improve contact with your pelvis

When you are more balanced skeletally and muscularly, all movement is easier and more pleasurable, including sex with your partner.

“I want to improve my love life” — this is not a reason I’ve ever heard when asking someone what he or she wanted out of Awareness Through Movement classes or individual Functional Integration lessons.

But think about it. There are lots of ways that Feldenkrais would help our love life. We know that increased self-awareness and self-sensing lead to meaningful changes, some almost miraculous. For example:

  • Feeling supported from within with a well-organized skeletal structure means we feel more self-empowered. Our wellbeing and self-confidence increase.
  • Our movement is less inhibited and we are less judgmental toward ourselves. We move more freely and are more spontaneous. We recognize that we have choice in how we think about ourselves.
  • Physically, our center of gravity shifts from a higher-up, shoulder-chest-orientation to a lower-down, pelvic-leg-orientation — think martial arts and Qi-Gong. This is the power center, where the root and sacral chakras reside, expressing our sexuality. When movement is oriented and initiated through this region, we are more grounded, stronger and safer.
  • With this lower center of gravity, low back pain diminishes. Our hip joints and the sacrum are more symmetrical, which improves our alignment and balance. We feel and move better.
  • And amazingly, as we become more mindful and body-aware, time seems to slow down. We notice our habits more; we make new choices. We use a lighter touch and less force as our sensitivity and sensuality increase. We become more aware of nuance, textures and changes.

All in all, we become more comfortable, flexible and mobile. We regain our capacity to feel the pleasurable and playful aspects of life again.

We start doing aerobic activity more comfortably and confidently, and get value-added benefit for our hearts and circulation. Our interest in activities that we have abandoned may be reawakened, including sex.

So here is a short Feldenkrais sequence that will bring you into more clear contact with your pelvis as the center of movement, grounding and balance:

  1. Sit on the front of a flat chair or bench, with your feet under your knees, shoulder-width apart. Feel your feet on the ground.
  2. Notice how the bottom of your pelvis meets the chair. Can you find/feel your seat bones? They are the two large, rounded bones between your hip joints and coccyx. Slide your fingers from behind under your seat bones and feel their location and how heavy and strong they are.
  3. See if you can determine if your habit is to sit on top of your these bones vertically. Or are you behind them (common in people with hunched shoulders or rounded back)? Or are you in front of them (common to people who arch the back)?
  4. Now exhale and round your back. Do this a few times. Can you feel that your weight goes behind your seat bones? Then pause.
  5. Next, inhale and arch your back a little. This will take you in front of your seat bones or more vertically on top of them.
  6. Repeat this rounding and arching a few more times, feel the rocking movement of the pelvis, keeping your spine and back relaxed. Then rest.
  7. Resume the gentle pelvic rocking movement, making it smaller and smaller until you end up right on top of your seat bones, vertically. Feel the sensation.

When you are sitting on top of your seat bones this way, you are upright, comfortably and lightly. You use your pelvis (the two seat bones) and your legs as your structural support. Your spine is long, and your muscles are relaxed and balanced.

You can do this gentle pelvic rocking to reduce strain and discomfort in your hips, low back and spine, and to help balance your pelvis. This also helps to balance your chest and shoulders. Move slowly and mindfully — don’t do anything uncomfortable.

Now back to your love life. When you are more balanced skeletally and muscularly, all movement is easier and more pleasurable, including sex.

Here is what one of my students, who inspired this article, recently told me after class, “Carole, I am so glad to be doing Feldenkrais! It is having the most fabulous effect on my love life (wink, wink — and she gave me a huge, happy Cheshire cat grin)!

Wishing you the happiest of Valentine’s Days, dear friends. May all your movement be pleasurable and bring joy to your hearts!

Carole Bucher, BA, is a Guild-Certified Feldenkrais practitioner/teacher and owner of Reno Feldenkrais Integrative Movement. Visit to learn more. Thanks to Marsha Novak for her version of this Feldenkrais sequence.